My sweet 11 year old son Will texted me from school yesterday to tell me about your conversation during gym class. The conversation where you told him he was “slow, has no strength and will never be a running back” put a dagger through his heart. And that broke MY heart.
Your words were immensely unkind. I’d like to think you regretted them immediately.
Will has played tackle football since kindergarten. He has played every minute of every game since 2nd grade, except for when he broke his leg in 4th grade during a football game. (Ironically he broke his leg running the ball as a running back and carried two of the opposing team, who were trying to tackle him, a few steps before they fell on him… which broke his leg.) One week later, in a full leg cast while sitting in a wheelchair, he still asked his coaches to put him in the game.
This kid-o of mine is a hard worker. He has dyslexia and with the help of some great teachers, he is getting an A in ELA this year. Challenges are not a problem for him. He does nothing half way.
Coach, you won’t find many kids with his passion and love of football. He loves the game and lives for football season. Challenge Will, he does not like to disappoint his coach. Especially a coach that respects and encourages him.
Let him know what skills he needs to show up with at tryouts. Let him know you are cheering for him to put in the work and be successful. And if he falls short, don’t belittle him. Challenge him some more.
“How you respond to the challenge in the second half will determine what you become after the game, whether you are a winner or a loser.” ~Lou Holtz
From now until football tryouts next year, is Will’s second half. Coach, your challenge has been accepted! See you next fall.
Ever since my sweet son Dylan was surgically removed from my body in the O.R. at Alaska Regional Hospital, life became blissfully busy. Fast forward a few years and I was a stay at home mom with three young kids who were all two years a part. I didn’t have a job that brought in income anymore but I was up to my mom jeans in dirty diapers, sippy cups and fixing endless meals and snacks. I was sleep deprived and tired most days but I had the most important job there was. Busy to me equalled being worthy. Worthy of being called a good mom, worthy of the love I received from my husband and kids, worthy of the privilege of being able to stay home and devote my life to being a wife and a mom.
If being busy gave me worth, I was killing it in those days.
Hit the fast forward button again and my youngest went to kindergarten. I was a full time mom, part-time employee, PTA volunteer, child taxi driver and dog rescuer! We began hosting exchange students which brought our family so much joy and grew our family’s size to 6 and even 7 people at times! If being busy gave me worth, my Yeti overflowth with the stuff!
But I didn’t feel the happiness I thought I should.
I had a horrible boss. I was tired and short with my family, the ones I loved most. My volunteer commitments that I always enjoyed became a burden and I was burned out. The toughest pill to swallow was because I had taken so many years off from a career to raise my family, I made less money in one month than my husband did in one day. (Ouch!)
Once again, since I measured my worth on being able to heroically juggle all that life threw at me physically and emotionally with ease, I kept going.
Fast forward to 2020. COVID cursed us with its appearace , I wasn’t working anymore and those three kids of mine and their bandwidth sucking school Chrome Books came home. They started e-learning and crashed our network, ate all of the food like a biblical swarm of locusts and of course, kept me busy. I hardly noticed I had lost my job. We baked, bought toilet paper, managed Zoom calls and learned to wear a mask everywhere we went.
Today, the kids have gone back to school. I cleaned up my house, organized closets and started taking golf lessons. It’s now November. For the first time in nearly 16 years, I am not busy. Like, not even a little bit. What is my worth if I have no heroic purpose between the hours of 8:30 and 4? This feeling will likely always reappear in my life like bad reflux after spicy food. Unwelcome but predictable and expected.
The truth is, I thought being busy should have made me feel like I was killing it at life when in reality it was actually taking more life away. So in a move that is VERY unlike me, I’m not going to do anything about it right now. I will embrace, what I am now calling my “Trophy Wife” period and relax in my athleisure wear with a Diet Coke.
The brilliant Maya Angelou said, “I learned a long time ago the wisest thing I can do is be on my own side.” That is my current inner monologue. I repeat it in my head when I start feeling sorry for myself.
One day life will get back to normal. When it does, I need to remember that my work load does not equal my worth… only I determine that.
Several years ago I had the privilege of listening to a Russian Orthodox Priest speak at an event. He told a story about his grandparents coming to the US from Russia. His grandfather died on the ship on the way over leaving his grandmother with 5 children to care for on her own. When she arrived she spoke no English, had no money and no way to support her family. One day, the police arrived at their small, shabby apartment looking for the children who had not reported to school. One of the neighbors translated what the officers were saying to her and she quickly went to find her wallet. She opened up her empty wallet and showed the officers there was no money inside to pay for school, especially with so many children. When she learned that school was free, she could not believe it! Every morning she told her children how lucky they were to have this opportunity for an education and not to waste it or take it for granted. They heard that same speech every day until they graduated.
Her children all went on to graduate from high school and college and they passed on their work ethic and love for learning on to her grandchildren. The priest, along with his siblings and cousins, all heard a version of their grandmother’s speech each morning about the wonderful opportunity they had been given with a free education. They were not to take that opportunity lightly. The priest and most of his generation attended college and eventually many of them went on to hold advanced degrees.
Most people would look at this priest and only see a very smart man. Without hearing the story of his remarkable family matriarch who immigrated to a new country and raised her children alone, you would not understand the circumstances that made him and his large family all appreciate their educations. This was the priest’s message. You do not truly understand a person until you understand their parents and their grandparents.
So when we spend more time worrying about WHAT people believe and ignore WHY they believe it, we are not getting the whole story.
In our world today, we spend very little time understanding why someone thinks how they do. Shamers on social media and on the news want us to choose a side, pick up a pitch fork and torch to join a fight that will never have a winner. There will only be two sides of losers who seem to not be concerned about anything except being right and proving to others how right they are. Somewhere along the way, we were told that if people don’t agree with us 100% they are terrible, uneducated, horrible individuals. We no longer celebrate our differences with healthy debates or get to know each other to truly understand where our beliefs are rooted.
If we think back to childhood, we can all remember having a friend who was different than we were. They introduced us to new music, new ways to dress and new foods to try. Different was exciting. This excitement of being unique helped shape us into the adults we have become. What would life be like if we had shamed that ‘different’ friend instead of getting to know them? What would we have missed out on? What would they have missed out on?
Today, patience and forgiveness are no longer extended to strangers and rarely even to people we love. Every one of us are expected to be perfect and the measuring unit for perfection changes depending on who is holding the measuring cup. Since the recipie continues to change, it sets everyone up to fall short or to over do it. If our perfection ends up “just right” it actually may be more of an accident than a deliberate decision. While we withhold our kindness and label those around us right or wrong and good or bad, we over look the 3rd option that is right in front of us. Grace. This is the grey area that gives us the ability to forgive, see another perspective, change course and hopefully sets us on the path that will make us a better or more understanding person.
Our world right now is scary. Kids are attending school at home, riots fill our streets, people hate something about everything and the media is leading the conversation more than they are reporting on it. Most of us are scared, feeling unheard and are starting to panic. There is no safe space to reach out to. There is a higher likelihood that a person seeking help will be ganged up on, laughed at and condemed than to have someone say, I don’t agree with you but I’m still here for you. That is almost unheard of.
Extend kindness and grace to the people you disagree with most. Fear is the biggest enemy in the world, not COVID, not our political affiliations, not our enemies and not our friends. If we take away the fear and replace it with understanding and compassion, we could be on our way to a better end to 2020 than its panic filled beginning. Having a friend with different beliefs is better any day than having a stranger who agrees with you.
I wish I could remember the name of the Russian Priest I heard speak. I’m curious about what advice he would give out for everyone who was navigating life today. Maybe he should suggest we all take inventory of the knowledge and traditions our grandparents and parents have given us. Understanding why we are who we are may help us to understand others and can help us be more tolerant of someone who believes the exact opposite of what we believe to our core. Or maybe we should all listen to his grandmother and we should leave the house each day thankful for the opportunities we have been given. If she can do it widowed, in a country where she didn’t speak the language, with 5 children to raise and no way to support them, then maybe we can successfully navigate 2020.
I am the mom to three very wonderful but very different children. Anyone who was raised with siblings or has multiple children, know firsthand how different kids born to the same parents can be. My oldest son tested into the gifted program in first grade. My daughter has been on the honor roll every grading period her entire life. But my youngest son, Will, was always a little behind in school. With a May birthday, we chalked it up to him being young for his grade. He ended each year “on grade level” with the help of some wonderful teachers so we didn’t worry… until fourth grade.
I’m going to back up a little bit. In fourth grade, he was assigned to a brand new teacher in her first year who was partnered with a teacher who had left the corporate world a few years before to teach as a second career. This was the exact opposite of the experienced teachers I had requested in the school’s student questionnaire the year before. (This questionnaire was supposed to help parents let the school know what kind of teacher and learning environment their child needs so the principal could attempt to find the right match.)
Soon after fourth grade began, Will had a terrible football accident and broke his leg badly. He missed a week of school and then was confined to a wheelchair for 4 weeks and a boot for 4 more weeks. Will is an athlete. He lives for football season and being unable to move was the worst mental and physical punishment that could have been handed to him. I was hoping his teachers would support him but when I pushed him into class each morning they seemed annoyed. They didn’t greet us with a good morning or ask Will how he was feeling. It made me sad and I left the school in tears several times.
His classmates were wonderful. One sweet girl grabbed his computer each morning when I pushed him in the room. Another boy started stopping by our house in the morning to push Will to school, giving him a bit of his independence back. The school, at the time, did not have a wheelchair ramp for Will to be pushed up which was another struggle. (We live across the street from our school so most kids in our neighborhood walk to school each morning.) But he started asking each morning to stay home. I would get calls mid day asking me to come pick him up. He hated school for the first time ever. Most mornings included tears as he was wheeled out the door.
As if things were not already tough for Will, he was officially diagnosed with Dyslexia right after he broke his leg. He began being pulled from class to work with his dyslexia specialist who became the one bright spot in his day. She began the work to help Will “learn how to learn” with his disability and she was very successful! She later told me he would ask to stay in her room as long as he could. This was his safe spot and I will forever be thankful to her for providing that for him.
Around Halloween, Will’s friend, the sweet boy who was pushing him to school each day starting being bullied. Will did his best to stand up for his buddy from his wheelchair only to find that the 3 bullies in his class would then turn their attention to him. The friend was physically pushed to the ground, the bullies called both boys gay and made lunch and recess miserable. That is when the assistant principal became involved.
The AP was in over her head. She tried moving the ringleader to another classroom. That didn’t stop it. She tried to separate all of the kids at lunch and recess, that didn’t stop it. Her incompetence was apparent. I wished everyday that this had happened the year before in third grade when Will had strong teachers that would have shut it down before it even begun. During Will’s third grade year we also had the best AP our school ever had. If the teachers had needed back up, she certainly would have put a stop to it. But instead, Will went to school every day that year with the only terrible teachers at our school with a very inexperienced and incompetent AP.
We tried to encourage him at home and found Will a wonderful tutor outside of school who was excited to work with him. By Christmas, she had 18 kids from that classroom rotation working with her as well. In a face to face meeting I let the AP know how many kids were struggling and seeking help outside the classroom. Nothing was addressed.
The bulling continued, Will fractured his back in the spring as a result of growing while his leg was casted which put too much stress on his back. He once again was sidelined from activity. Will suffered, his friend suffered and the entire class suffered in their toxic learning environment. Still nothing was done.
Fast forward a year to today. Will had a great 5th grade year. He stayed healthy, had great teachers and continued to work with his fabulous dyslexia specialist and his wonderful private tutor all year. As the end of the COVID school year ended, our principal announced he would be leaving for another district. I immediately wanted to have a brief conversation by phone or in person with our District Superintendent. I wanted to tell him what happened to Will and to hopefully chose a new leader who not only focused on the high achievers but also the kids who need advocated for the most. I received nothing back from him although he had his secretary call me. I emailed our school board and heard nothing back from them at all. I finally FB messaged one of the school board members and did receive a phone call back from him.
Last week, the AP who was in over her head in that role was named the school’s new principal. It was a strong message that what parents thought didn’t matter. I posted my concerns about the new principal on Facebook and have received dozens of messages from concerned parents and staff members who cannot speak out. I even heard from substitute staff who were also concerned. Many of these messages contained stories similar to Will’s. Others were curious about how she was selected and still others said she had always given them bad vibes… one said her “Spidy Sense” always went off around her.
99% of everyone I heard from sent me a private message and did not respond to my post publicly. They are afraid of retaliation. That is a legitimate concern. I spoke out at a town council meeting one summer against placing portables in our school during construction. A month later my daughter was placed in the class that was slated to be placed in the portable and my son was placed in the class of the only teacher in the school on probation that year. Luckily, the portables were not used and my daughter had a great year with one of her favorite teachers ever. My son was moved to the class of a very experienced teacher who had taught my older son and daughter. But only because, I spoke out.
These are some of the issues I was trying to tell our superintendent. He needed to know about the current culture. He should know what changes were needed. Parents need to feel safe to speak up, unsuccessful teachers need to be removed from the classroom, parents and staff should be educated about what services the district provides for students with disabilities, place struggling students with experienced teachers and provide a healthy learning environment for all students.
Luckily for me my family is graduating from this school. We spent 9 years there and part of me loves the school for all of the good it does. As scathing as this blog is, 99% of the teachers and staff are the best there are. It’s sad to me that the 1% that isn’t, is the 1% in charge of the other 99%.
I am speaking out right now in hopes it is not too late to make a positive change so that other kids like Will don’t suffer like he did. If I can make that road smoother, or easier for other kids and their families, shame on me for staying quiet.
The vast majority of Q (quarantine) has been as much fun as a trip to the gyno followed by a root canal. Being stuck at home has forced me to find things to do to keep myself busy because if I’m not busy I will have too much time for panic attacks and meltdowns. I have sewn masks, crocheted, read and even colored. That has all been fun but not quite super exciting.
If I had to hand out awards for the 2020 Best of Quarantine, my list would include the things that made me smile when there wasn’t much to smile about. The Q awards won’t have a red carpet, no trophy and the best dressed lists will be made based on the comfort level of the outfit. Very fitting for a pandemic era awards show.
So, without further delay, my “Q Awards” go to the following people and companies. All for keeping us entertained, fed for a small fortune and for helping us stay sane during one of the hardest times most of us have collectively gone through.
Door Dash- Winner Laziest Couch Potato Award
I was a big fan of the Door Dash before we all became hermits and shut ins. Who doesn’t want to pay three times the price for fast food for the privilege of having dinner delivered directly to your couch? Once we were sheltered in place, Door Dash was our connection to the outside world and made us feel a little more normal. If Whataburger was still making taquitos then how bad can things really be? So thank you Door Dash for bringing us a contactless bit of happiness delivered directly to our front door mats… for a large fee.
Leslie Jordan-Winner Best Instagram Videos
Well She-it, I fell in love with Mr. Jordan when he was, “well, well, well it’s Beverly Leslie,” Karen’s frenemy on Will and Grace. But Leslie Jordan became my friend this March via Instagram. His daily updates to his “fellow hunker downers” made me smile when I watched them. His drama is hilarious and his videos did not disappoint.
Mr Jordan has met some of those most interesting people and is friends with just about everyone who is famous. He has the most endearing stories about anything and everything which I could listen to him tell all day long!
Thank you Leslie Jordan for being everyone’s friend during Q! We hope you keep entertaining us on The Gram long after the pandemic is over.
Tiger King-Winner Worst People Ever In A Netflix Series
Yes it was husband killing terrible and yes I watched every single minute of it! Episode after episode I couldn’t believe what I was watching and as the series went on, it only got worse! We couldn’t have created a more perfect show to watch while we were getting used to being sheltered in place if we tried. The best way to avoid feelings of fear and anxiety is to watch a series about a gay thruple living together in an Oklahoma, redneck Tiger Zoo. After watching this series we ALL felt better about our own lives.
Quiby-Winner Best Streaming Service For Short Attention Spans
Finally a streaming service fit for the attention span of a gnat! A mobile only service with shows that range from 4-10 minutes in length. My favorite is a show called “Dummy” with Anna Kendrick. She is a writer who becomes friends with her boyfriend’s sex doll. After being stuck at home for a few weeks I really needed a series with 6 minute episodes about a sex doll and her BFF. It’s just as hilarious as it sounds and with a 3 month free trial, it costs nothing to try it out. Way cheaper than buying your own sex doll to be friends with.
Marco Polo-Winner Best App To See Friends Without Actually Seeing Them
Again, not a new app, I’ve been on Marco Polo every day for the last two years. This app lets you record messages one on one or in a group. It’s like a FaceTime call but it can be watched on YOUR time more like a video text. What it really does well is lets you see your friends’ faces and hear their voices which is the human connection we all miss in Q.
I talk to my oldest friends every day via Marco Polo, but Q let us not only talk about regular stuff like should we cut our hair or how should we punish a nasty teenager, but now we could argue about staying home or wearing masks too. We could discuss who needed medicated the most on any given day and if we had friends over should we make them pee in the yard (only one of us opted for that one) or let them use the bathroom inside? Since we have been friends for a hundred years we are all VERY familiar with the particular varieties of crazy each one of us are. Without our MP app, we would have not had those deep conversations that gave us entertainment for weeks.
Ashley Joesph-Winner Most Popular Texter In A GroupChat
Who you ask? Ashley is the 2 year old daughter of my friend Lisa. This girly has 3 older brothers and like most kids her age loves to find her mom’s phone and play. She is also extremely proficient at texting and that is why she deserves a Q award.
One of my favorite part of quarantine has been getting a text that reads “sdfklkj sldkfj tifjfk eeeeeeeetind asdkfjh” which alerts all of us in the group text that Ash-zilla has stolen her mama’s phone. That is our cue to send her every Disney and princess gif we can find.
Don’t ask me why this is so much fun but getting texts from Ashley is the highlight of quarantine. I think on days that were sad and blah, knowing a happy little girl was sitting across town from me finding joy with her mom’s phone and knowing she is laughing at the gifs we are sending her made me not think about what was going on in the world. Lisa shared she once found this sweet girl kissing the phone when her favorite princess appeared. Priceless, right?
This concludes what I hope to be the first and ONLY “Q Awards.” While most of us had to really stretch to find things to do for the last few weeks, there was always entertainment to be found. While it can take the shape of a redneck tiger breeder or talking to friends using an app, at least it was all better than than the gyno/root canal option… but in some cases, just barely.
One day, many years from now, my grandkids will ask me about the COVID-19 pandemic. They will have read about it in school and will have a list of questions to ask me so they can learn more about what life was like during the 2020 quarantine. The memories of #stayathome will rush back just like they do about the Challenger tragedy and September, 11th. We will all sit down and string the black and white memories we retained and together form our family’s quarantine story. What events will I remember? What events will shape my kids? Hopefully not my cooking… that may take some therapy to get past.
Home School
I will always remember the realization that I was not a teacher and was certainly not smarter than a 5th grader! Math is completely different than it was when I was in school and I don’t even understand the bubble charts or whatever it is they use in ELA. There are a lot of passwords to remember for all of the 15+ programs schools use. Think Through Math, Epic Books, Google Classroom and all of the other learning tools that require a unique username and password. Parents became personal assistants to their kids to manage school work. Kids shushed their families and excused themselves to their room so they could have privacy during a Zoom meeting.
With Middle School and High School work I was no help… see above, I couldn’t figure out 5th grade.
The kids will likely remember sleeping in each morning and doing their school work in their PJs on the couch with a bowl of Fruit Loops. They will remember not having after school activities in the evening and on the weekend. My kids will look back and remember the feeling of missing their favorite teachers and their friends each day. For my youngest he will remember that he went on spring break and then never returned to the elementary school he attended for 6 years.
Forced Family Fun
We will ALL remember the together time. The endless together time we had every morning, every afternoon and every night. There was nothing to do, no one to see and no where to go. It was just us. For a typically busy family who had just spent a week together on spring break it was a lot. Especially at first.
We played board games. One game we ordered was COMPLETELY inappropriate and we laughed until we cried trying to play it. There were family Fortnite games with the screams coming from rooms all over the house. We heated the pool and swam, ate a lot of ice cream, watched a lot of TV and movies. We kept vampire hours and were all a little feral.
We Ate Everything
Quarantine was all about the food! It was like an all you can eat Vegas buffet packaged in snack packs and to go containers. Our family did our part to keep Whataburger in business. My oldest son, Dylan, snacked after everything he did. Play a Fortnite game, get a snack. Do some math homework, get a snack. Thank goodness he has a great metabolism.
We baked. We had muffins for breakfast, brownies for dessert and cupcakes and cookies for snacks. The Quarantine weight started to creep up and we had to shut the oven down before my 600 pound life was alerted to our family.
Workouts
Once we ate everything in sight that contained carbs, sugar and icing, we realized we had to start moving. Going from a super active family to a pod of slugs was not working for us. I’m sure we will all remember our family cross fit sessions. In honor of the kids calling my husband Robert, “Bear” (short for Daddy Bear), we called it Bear-Fit.
My youngest son, Will, rode his new bike a lot. Everyone jumped rope in the driveway. And all of us walked the dogs until they stopped getting excited when they saw the leashes come out.
As soon as it was allowed, my daughter, Genna, started playing sand volleyball outside. Not being able to play for so many weeks was mentally tough on her.
As much as quarantine work outs were not fun, I hope the kids remember them and how important it is to keep moving. Even when we didn’t feel like it.
Social Distancing
Before COVID-19 our house was always full of extra kids. Almost overnight friends had to stop coming over and we couldn’t even see them anywhere else. The term social distancing became a “thing.” After a few weeks we hosted a social distancing lunch for Genna’s birthday party. We let Will ride his bike to have a social distance ice cream cone. I know we will all remember the loneliness and isolation we felt being removed from our tribes.
Sealing the Capsule
We are at the beginning of the end right now hopefully. Where we live, life is slowly returning to normal. Businesses are opening up and we can go out to eat. The kids have seen a few select friends and home school is nearing the end of the regular school year.
We can’t trust that this momentum will continue. School still may not start on time and sports may not resume. Who knows if we will be able to go on vacation this summer. We may have to take a step back to continue forward.
I doubt my kids will have permanent scars from quarantine. This experience certainly will leave a last impression though. My daughter told me after seeing her best friend for the first time in 2 months, “Mom, I know I can get through anything now.” Hopefully she even means my cooking.
Hours turned into days, days turned into weeks and weeks turned into poor hygiene and too much Door Dash. Our Outfit Of The Day is probably yesterday’s and tomorrow’s as well. With no one to see and with nowhere to go, our personal styles have evolved and shaped our new quarantine selves.
As spring gets into full swing, let’s visit the styles that are being sported on Zooms, in grocery stores and thankfully, in the privacy of our own homes.
Our first look is what Athleisure should be. A neutral soft sweatshirt paired with well worn soft pants. The only sweating that should be done in these cozy clothes is when one ingests too much hot sauce in a single bite. The layered look says, “I want to be prepared in case it is warm out today but it’s probably cold AF so I’ll add this sweatshirt so I don’t freeze.” This is clearly an ensemble made for social distancing… especially by day 3 of wear.
The “I wish it was summer but it SO isn’t” look. Pink fuzzy socks pair well with these moccasins from the 2019 Elizabeth Warren collection. The look says, I’m not afraid to go outside in my socks but I put shoes on in case I accidentally step in dog shit. The pants are “Quarantine fetch” created when leggings are worn for long enough for them to become baggy. The best part of this look will be the 7 inch tan line achieved that will be revealed during shorts season like a Chip and Jo episode reveal.
Guurrlll, you know they do, probably more than ever right now! This is the standard Quarantine #OOTD, black soft pants paired with a funny t-shirt. It says, approachable but not closer than 6 feet approachable. This can be paired with tennis shoes, flip flops or those socks with the grippy things on the bottom. The outfit should be accessorized with coffee in the mornings and margaritas after 5… err 2:00. This chic pairing should also be worn as pajamas for a versatile look.
This quarantine look clearly made it out of the dryer right after the buzzer (the first time) and gone over with a warm iron before wear. The white shoes were purchased during an online shopping bender and have kept their whiter than snow look by social distancing inside. The nod to Texas on the t-shirt shows this is not an outfit to be messed with. The Apple Watch helps track the steps taken from the couch to the fridge and back. Never miss an opportunity for fitness.
This look howls “I haven’t been groomed in over 2 months!” This model is less annoyed by the poor hygiene and more worried about the roommates who never leave. How is this model supposed to get on the furniture and shed on it with people always around?
The I’ve been home schooling kids for weeks, there is not enough coffee on the planet for this, zero fucks look. Just like the model’s home life, there is just a lot going on and not necessarily going on in an organized fashion. This comfortable ensemble could be a living room outfit, it could be pjs and it could be leftover from a maternity wardrobe. Does our model really care? No she does not because she has (say it with me) “zero fucks.”
I would like to send a very heartfelt thank you to all of my nameless (and headless)stylish friends who allowed me to share their #OOTD Quarantine Edition ensembles for your viewing and reading enjoyment. The seconds and maybe even minutes they spent painstakingly pairing these outfits that should never see the light of day (even at a Dollar General) made me smile. I’d also like to thank my dog who thought it was fun having us all home at first but now clearly would just like to sleep on our king sized bed without hearing the Fortnite raging and the endless questions 5th graders ask on a classroom Zoom.
As I too stretch out my showers and re-wear outfits longer than any person not being held hostage in a third would country should, I wonder if these fashion choices will live in infamy right next to 80s shoulder pads and neon colors? Will t-shirts ever be sold with the chip crumbs already on them like the embellishment or even the accessory they are right now? No one knows for sure. In the future, every time we order a to go margarita, I hope we think back to the Covid crisis and drink those margs wearing quarantine era clothes as a nod to the time we were stuck at home and let snacking and poor hygiene dictate our #OOTD.
The crazy train has pulled into the station and every seat is full. No matter where you look, TV commercials, social media or on a homemade sign at a rally, everyone has an opinion they are sharing loudly. There are people on each side like we are in a giant game of dodge ball. No one is brave enough to be in the middle, they will get pelted with balls from the opposition AND their own team. For each team, being right is as important as their message. If you don’t agree with them, you are the problem and clearly too stupid to play in their game.
What neither side is willing to admit is their dodge ball game is being sponsored by Fear. Fear is on their jerseys, stamped on their dodgeballs and is being played in Fear Stadium. This isn’t surprising though. Our very basic fight or flight response is ingrained in our DNA just like the startle response. We are just used to being scared of things that we can touch, feel and see. And COVID-19 is not tangible in any of those ways.
On one side we have the “Stay at Home” team. They attack others on social media accusing anyone leaving their home of not caring about the people that will surely die as a result. They finally found toilet paper and are prepared to stay home for the next 2 years because that is what their friend’s neighbor, who is a doctor in rural Iowa, said would be best. They are 100% right and you are dumb to not listen to their logic.
On the other side we have the “Open America” team. They too like to post on social media but more recently they have decided to take their show on the road and demonstrate in public. We have to open everything up today because the economy won’t recover. They read somewhere that this virus isn’t actually that bad during a work zoom call from a co-worker who’s cousin works at the pentagon and talks with important people regularly. They are 100% right and you are dumb to not listen to their logic.
I saw a meme on social media that said “We are all in the same storm, just not in the same boat.” I think that is so true. As restrictions start to be lifted we will all have to put the dodgeballs down and let people position themselves where they are most comfortable on the court. No one should have fear of a dodgeball to the back of the head because someone else doesn’t like where they are standing.
To team “Stay Home,” I know you are scared. Take your time when things open back up. If you are older or if you or a family member has a medical condition we will still deliver your groceries and FaceTime with you for as long as you need. When you are ready to leave the house you can do it on your terms. But don’t critisize someone who needs to go back to work to support their family today.
To team “Open America,” we know you need to go back to work. So go back to work and support your family. We will cheer for you as you open our economy back up! Our country will pray each day that you and your family stay healthy. But don’t criticize someone who is older or someone with a medically fragile child who decides to stay home longer.
To everyone in the middle, we will support you too. One day you may feel safe going out and the next you may feel better staying home. We will all have a little re-entry anxiety after being home for 6 weeks. We know you are doing what is best for your family and all of us think you are amazing.
I have noticed with my own circle we are all navigating life right now differently. My friends with jobs who still have to leave to go to work have a very different outlook from those who have been working from home. Neither one is good or bad, right or wrong… just different. Our families are different and it’s ok to support each other as we recover from this on our own time and on our own terms.
As far as the dodgeball game, I’m sure it will continue for a while longer. Fear brings out the worst in so many of us. My hope is that those in the middle can toughen up and learn to bob and weave for the foreseeable future. Maybe if enough of us don’t throw the dodgeballs back, the game won’t be as fun and those on the extreme ends will lose interest. At the very least, maybe making that serpentine pattern to avoid the next dodgeball will help work off some of those quarantine snacks. A girl can hope.
I hope you’re not a spectator in the lives of other people. Be in the stories. Show up, show up, show up!” ~Hannah Brencher
Covid-19 and it’s buddy quarantine came roaring into our lives like an EF-5 tornado. It took our lives and plans and blew them into next month (or the month after that). In our house, we went from an active family of 5 going in different directions at full speed ahead to a family of sloths sitting on the couch arguing over where to get takeout for dinner.
We have all reacted to these changes differently. My 15 year old son, Dylan, was made to quarantine. He can snack and game all day. Several golf courses are open so he has been able to play a few rounds. School work can be done from the comfort of his bedroom… he is living his best life.
My younger son, Will, is hanging in there like his big brother, (minus the golf). He is missing his friends and really missing playing lacrosse and football. He missed two seasons of sports last year with a broken leg and later a fractured back. This was supposed to be his comeback year. He is taking that disappointment like a champ.
My daughter, Genna, is the opposite. Two of the most important things in her life, her friends and volleyball, have been taken away from her. She loves her friends like they are family but FaceTime calls and Netflix Watch Parties don’t replace the fun they have during a sleepover.
She misses being active. We are working out as a family but doing air squats and sit ups with mom and dad don’t replace the fun she has conditioning with her volleyball team. Weekend tournaments have been canceled just as her team started to hit their stride and the whole season is up in the air. She still spends time serving in the driveway against the house but that doesn’t come close to the excitement of wearing her jersey and stepping out on the court with her team.
When it became clear that Genna’s 13th birthday would happen while “shelter in place” was still in effect she broke down. There were too many disappointments in a short time for a girl who can usually make lemonade out of any lemons life throws at her.
Her birthday arrived this week… and so did all of her friends. They showed up BIG! The messages started early in the morning as did the videos and social media posts. Many of her friends stopped by to drop off cards, candy and some gifts. Her besties, “The Secret Sister Squad” stopped by for a social distance lunch. The best part of her day was the love she received from all of the most important people her in life. Boy did she need to feel that love.
Her friends showed up for her. When she thought of all of the time and effort it took for everyone to record a video, post a message or to come to the house to drop off a gift it overwhelmed her. As a mom, I was so happy she has surrounded herself with such a great group of friends. I hope she never takes for granted what a special gift those girls are in her life.
As Emily Dickinson once said, “My friends are my estate.”
I know it’s not just my daughter who is having a hard time right now. Kids all over the world are missing out on birthday celebrations, proms, senior sports seasons and even simple things like Sunday dinner with their grandparents. Everything these kids have known most their lives has been taken away from them with no end in sight. I even heard rumors that school may not start on time in the fall. No matter how this ends, it’s going to be hard on all of the kids.
It’s up to all of us to show up big for them! No matter how hard life is as an adult, this is our kids’ childhood. We need to celebrate holidays the best we can. Birthdays need to be a big deal not just for our own kids but for their friends as well. We need to celebrate summer when it gets here. Even if it’s just a Saturday with a sprinkler and popsicles in the backyard. Those are the moments they will remember.
For the older kids we need to understand that missing out on the milestones they have been working towards is devastating to them. “We all remember how important our friends were when we were 14, 15 and 16. Those shared experiences with peers were memorable parts of growing up,” says Terrill Bravender, M.D., M.P.H. chief of adolescent medicine at Michigan Medicine C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital.
Of course these kids could always have it worse. Most of them won’t get COVID-19 or have to battle for their lives in the hospital on a ventilator, thankfully. But let’s not minimize the pain and discomfort these kids are going through. For them, it may be the first time they have faced anything so disappointing. How we teach them to navigate this challenge will show them how to make it through the next adversity they face.
Right now we are juggling keeping our families and neighbors safe by staying home all the while wishing life could go back to normal. When we do return to “regular” life, I hope our busy family of 5 going in different directions remembers to slow down and do nothing together because we want to take time to show up for each other. And each time we argue about where to get take out from, I hope it’s not lost on any of us where we learned this hard but important lesson.
We are all familiar with “The Karen.” She’s middle aged, outspoken and she would like to speak to the manager! We all have a little Karen inside of us (some more than others) and during times of stress this dark passenger comes to the surface.
All of us and our once normal, cool friends are starting to melt down Karen style over text threads, social media posts and on Marco Polo videos. Here are the different types of “Quarantine Karens” that have emerged from their 24-hour news vigils and homeschool melt-downs.
1.Dooms Day Karen– It’s time to panic! These Karens are sure they have the virus even though they have no symptoms. Their husbands, who are still going to work, are living in the garage because you can never be too careful. She sprays her kids down with Lysol each day and wipes her Clorox container off with a Clorox wipe after each use.
You can spot this Karen wearing a mask and gloves in her own home.
2. “I Know People” Karen- Her co-worker’s son’s friend works at the White House and he said the country is shutting down on Thursday. She can’t tell you his name because it’s classified… she knows it though. These Karen’s send well meaning text message to the group to share news that typically is inaccurate.
You can spot this Karen on text threads and social media sharing breaking news like she is Hoda Kotb working leads in her suburban living room.
3. Germaphobe Karen– She’s been prepping for this moment her entire life! With a stock pile of hospital grade masks, gloves and hand sanitizer she’s ready for any pandemic that a bat eating moron can send our way. She has been social distancing during flu season for years and pleased that the rest of the world has joined in.
You can recognize this Karen on Facebook by the “How To Properly Wash Your Hands” video she posted.
4. WTF Karen– She’s annoyed at all the shelter in place rules and hopes Door Dash is considered ESSENTIAL. She’s nervous about social distancing because being stuck in the house for the next week is ESSENTIALLY going to drive her nuts! This is all a little over kill BTW.
You can find this Karen quoting Fox News on her different social media pages.
5. Day Drinking Karen– She’s supposed to home school her kids and work? Not without a cocktail at 9AM. She knows who delivers margaritas and how to mix a Quarantini. Why is everyone so *hic-up* stressed out anyway *burp*?
You can find this Karen in the alcohol aisle at Kroger and on social media posting “Mama Needs to Wine” memes.
6. Hoarding Karen-This Karen puts extreme couponers to shame. She has more T.P. and Clorox Wipes in her basement than the local Costco does. When she heard that there might be a shortage of paper products she went out and bought some more… just in case.
You can spot this Karen by the NRA bumper sticker on her husbands pick up.
Hopefully we can all tuck our inner Karens back into our inner psyches again soon. No matter which one you are (or “ones” if you are a Karen hybrid), know this crisis with your alter-ego will end. Maybe we can even crawl out of quarantine with our dignity intact. Or at least with the small amount of dignity we started out with.
Everyday for the last week it is rained here in Texas. The never ending drizzle and pop up storms have made quarantining even more soggy by keeping us completely indoors as we social distance. It’s like Mother Nature stabbed us with the COVID-19 knife and then twisted it with the bad weather.
This week, on Thursday morning, as our household started to come to life, my daughter mumbled to me that she had a leak in her ceiling. With all the rain we have had I was not too surprised to have a leak, just annoyed. I did find someone to come out right away to the house and check out our roof.
Our roofer was puzzled. He couldn’t find a leak anywhere and called in an assistant to help him look. I figured the leak was due to the massive amount of rain that had been falling. I started mentally removing a few zeros from the bill I was about to pay. That is about the time I started to hear the dry heaving coming from my attic.
The two men came down the attic ladder to give me the good news that I did not have a water leak. Instead, I had a raccoon infestation and the leak was not water but instead the raccoon’s family bathroom seeping through into my daughter’s room. That is about the time I started dry heaving. It was literally raining shit from my ceiling!
I gladly wrote a $100 check for turd removal and handed the poor man a Sprite for the road to settle his still churning stomach.
Like I said, it’s been raining in Texas.
As a country, we have all had a long week. It’s amazing how fast we went from figuratively having a leaky roof on Monday to leaking poo and dry heaving on Friday. We don’t know why this has happened to us and don’t know when it will end.
We do know that some of the smartest people on the planet are working around the clock to find a treatment for the sickest patients and to find a vaccine to help all of us. There is progress and we will move past this even though that is a small consolation today.
Right now we don’t want to be quarantined. Our kids are already over being home schooled. Most adults are ready to return to their offices and hope they have a job waiting for them when that time comes. Everyone wants to see toilet paper, bread and eggs when they walk into their grocery store. Going through the unpleasant is never fun but being uncomfortable is the catalyst of change.
“There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.” ~C.S. Lewis
I hope that’s true.
The trash panda remains in my attic as I write this. She has babies and trapping her is a death sentence for those babies which is another issue. So we wait without knowing how long. Just like the rain that is still falling outside, it’s out of our control.
This wasn’t how I thought this week would end. I guess even the raccoons who are social distancing in our attic are short on toilet paper. Being able to laugh at everything going on is the only thing we can do.
The moral of the story? “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning how to dance in the rain.” Just make sure it’s actually rain before you start the music.
If you would have asked me a week ago what I thought about those people who stock up for end of days and the zombie apocalypse, I would have called them nut jobs. Today, they all seem a bit more reasonable.
Seriously, who thought we would be HERE today? School canceled for the year. No practice, no games or tournaments, no orthodontist appointments and no rushing to do anything. It’s surreal.
Last night I started to panic. Our lives have come to a complete halt with no end in site. Everything that brings my family joy has been canceled or at the very least postponed. Even this morning I was near tears thinking about all of the things I can’t control right now. As a person who over plans everything… this is hard.
So I decided to make a plan. A plan of how we are going to do this. A plan to get through the days of social distancing, homeschooling and running out of toilet paper.
Stop Hoarding Food and Supplies (Just don’t do it)
Right now, we are not in danger of running out of anything. Trust the US supply chain, we are NOT out of food. “There is food being produced. There is food in warehouses,” said Julie Anna Potts, chief executive of the North American Meat Institute, a trade group for beef, pork and turkey packers and producers. “There is plenty of food in the country.”
It’s important to buy only what you need and not stockpile like it’s Armageddon.
2. Homeschooling (YIKES)
For all of us non-teachers, the thought of having to teach our kids, even with the assistance of the teachers working remotely, is scary. I don’t know common core math, I haven’t studied Spanish since college and I didn’t understand Algebra II even when I was taking it! Not to mention my youngest son has Dyslexia and relies so much on his tutor and intervention specialist to learn and progress.
The Today Show says the first step is to turn to your child’s school. “First things first, see if your teacher or school has learning packets or classes via Google classrooms or Zoom.”
For older kids in middle or high school check out Khan Academy for their video tutorials. (My friend Christa shared that great tip with me.)
Many states have suspended their state testing for the year. This is an opportunity for kids to enjoy learning and for teachers just to teach (even if it is remotely) without the pressures a standardized test places on everyone.
3. Manage Disappointment (Total Bummer)
Typically when we don’t have school our house is full of friends. There are sleepovers, pool parties, sports practices, games, tournaments and the doorbell ringing non stop with neighbors bouncing in and out of the house. I usually play tennis a few times a week and my husband golfs with friends a few days too. ALL of this has come to an abrupt and disappointing halt.
While nothing will console my daughter who is missing her best friend and the volleyball team they both play on, there are other things to look forward to. For the first time in years we have no schedule. Kids can stay in their PJs until noon, we have time to play board games in our practice-less evenings and eat together as a family.
After the novelty of not being in school wears off and the real boredom sets in it will be up to us to manage our family’s disappointment. The disappointment of missing sports, friends and special occasions will add up.
The CDC suggests several things we can all do to help ourselves through this time. “Remind yourself that you can reschedule some events. For those dates that cannot be moved, think about the future. The current situation may prevent you from being with your loved ones during a meaningful day, but you will be able to see them healthy for many years to come if you take precautions now.”
4. Together Time (#forcedfamilyfun)
We are all going to be home a lot. It is stressful for my family to all be together day after day with no school or work to break things up. For families who are trying to work and homeschool kids the stress will be even higher.
Take this time to watch some old home movies, do a puzzle, play board games and watch a Netflix series as a family. Have the kids keep a journal or draw pictures about what is going on so they can look back at it later.
It is also important to allow alone time. While we typically don’t like to have closed bedroom doors in our house, I think in small amounts it will be important to get through the quartine period.
Another good family project would be to foster an animal in need. Shelters and rescues are overflowing and will provide vet care and food/supplies to foster families. You just need to give time and love to the pet. The good news about fostering is when your foster pet finds their new family, there is always another pet waiting in the wings for your family’s time and love.
5. Stay Healthy (Duh!)
Breaking news… The most important thing to do right now is to stay healthy. Stay hydrated, keep washing your hands and try to stay as active as you can even while you don’t have access to a gym. It goes without saying that smoking and vaping is a huge no no with a virus going around that can attack the lungs (shocking).
The CDC website has several suggestions of ways to stay healthy. The best advice I read on the website was simple. “The best way to prevent illness is to avoid being exposed to this virus.” Seems simple enough to read, but we all know it’s easier said than done.
In all seriousness, most of us have never lived through a quarantine or remembers a time when schools and offices were shut down. I know when this is over I won’t take our freedom to do as we please each day for granted. I hope my kids won’t either.
I can’t plan for much right now. That takes me completely out of my comfort zone. That’s what it takes to make change happen though. With so many of us pushed past what is comfortable maybe that is what we needed to see past our own busy lives and to see the bigger pictue. Hopefully that is the only part of COVID-19 that sticks around.
Congratulations, my husband and I are now the proud parents of a nearly 6 foot tall, 15 year old bouncing baby man child! Just like when we brought him home from the hospital, there is no manual to parent him. That is challenging for us of course and I’m sure frustrating for him.
Recently, during a heated discussion, after an event where he gave far less than his best, he asked me for some bullet points of our expectations for him. I understand he is growing up and wanting to make his own choices but he still has a lot to learn before he goes off on his own. And thank goodness, I can’t imagine living with him if he really did know it all!
I came up with five bullet points for him that combine all of the expectations we have for him, his siblings and even ourselves. This isn’t ground braking parenting and I certainly expect for us to get it wrong from time to time… as we always have. Hopefully, in between mistakes, we do teach our kids the lessons they need to move forward as productive and exceptional adults.
Work hard and give your best effort in everything you do. Even when you don’t feel like it. Oprah said it best, “Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.” There will be times in his life when what he is doing matters a lot to him (video games) and other times when it matters very little (chores). If he starts practicing giving his best effort in all he does, it will create a lifelong habit. His teachers in high school, professors in college and his future bosses will all expect this from him.
I know it’s impossible to expect a teenager to take out the trash or clean his room with a Christmas morning type of happiness. I do want him to learn that anything worth doing, is worth doing well. Even if that “anything” literally is taking out the garbage.
Put effort into family relationships and friendships. Take care of the people who take care of you. Friendships are not made and maintained virtually within games or on social media. Making and maintaining friendships takes effort from both parties. I hope my son goes out the way for his friends and family. I also hope he lets his friends and family do the same for him. My dad always told me to, “Take care of the people who take care of you.” It’s one of the most important lessons I want to pass on to my son and his siblings. The people we let into our lives, they matter.
Work to improve yourself always by setting goals, meeting those goals and then set new goals. My son is on his high school golf team. To keep this simple I explained it in terms of his golf score. If he wants to lower his golf score he likely won’t go from consistantly shooting a 90 to a 75 in one or two rounds. He will need to set a smaller goal, meet that goal and then set a new one. Eventually those goals will add up. Just like in golf, it’s unlikely that success with come easily and in a linear and consistent direction. He should be prepared for the shanks and 3 putts life will throw at him.
In golf as in life, it is the follow through that makes all of the difference.
Have an Attitude of Gratitude.
Brene Brown said, “What separates privilege from entitlement is gratitude.” Raising children who don’t feel privileged even when they lead a privileged life, is difficult.
There are certainly times where it is easier for all of us to be grateful like birthdays, Christmas and during fun vacations. Building an attitude of gratitude into our everyday lives makes is how to add it into our daily routines. I ask my kids everyday, tell me something good that happened during their day. Some days the answer is simple, like just coming home after a long day of school and some days are more exciting like a good grade on a test or someone brining cupcakes for their birthday. No matter what the day brings, there is always (and I mean always)something to be grateful for. I hope my son can one day enjoy the habit of finding at least one thing every day that he is grateful for.
Don’t Be Afraid to Fail
J.K. Rowling, who was no stranger to failing before she wrote the Harry Potter series, said it best. “It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all- in which case, you fail by default.”
Failure is so many things. It’s embarrassing, it’s awkward and it’s time consuming. Without failure though there is no success. My hope for my son is that he learns to appreciate all he learns when he fails so he can apply those lessons to earn the success I know he will have. Most of all, I hope he learns to never be afraid to fail. Like anything, that too takes practice.
I love this stage of parenting teenagers. It is challenging and difficult but is also so rewarding. I’m seeing the young version of the adults they will become. There are frustrations but there are so many more fun moments where I hope we are making traditions and establishing the grown up relationships we will have together long after they leave our home. Hopefully they still ask for my advice when that happens and maybe when they are grown, they will actually listen to it.
Once you become a mom of older kids, your social life changes. Playgroup is a thing of the past, you have graduated from the PTA and there are no more school parties to plan. Your weekends become an endless cycle of sports meets, matches and tournaments. You begin to skip dinner and drinks with your friends on Friday night because the thought of being even a tiny bit tired or hungover at your all day sportsball event makes you want a nap thinking about it. Your kid probably has practice then anyway.
You will attend endless clinics, practices and games with the same moms. Day after day, week after week and if your kid is in it for the long haul, year after year. If you are lucky, you may find another mom on the team who’s kid gets along with yours. As those two start to create their first inside jokes, the endless texting will begin and the sleepovers will follow. Pretty soon the texts between the moms aren’t just about when practice starts, when the game was moved to or where the sleepover is that night. They have become friends too, and their inside jokes and endless texting begin.
Sportsball mom friends may be one of the highlights of this stage in life. Expectations of the friendship are easy. You are both busy with kids and are driving all over in different directions. You back each other up to make sure everyone gets to and from practice. When one of you can’t attend a game, you take care of each other’s kid like you would your own. This includes taking the pictures, videos, extra cheering and making sure they eat. No money exchanges hands. I fed her kid today but she fed mine twice last week. It will all even out.
If you are lucky enough to play on a travel team then the real fun begins. You spend time in airports, cars and in hotels. For days your team becomes a little gypsy family on the road. While you calculate the cost of each over priced meal you know it was well spent. Your kid is living their best life with their bestie, playing the sport they love to play. All the while the moms have a front row seat together in the bleachers which, by the way, are killing your backs. You will sit there for a day or two more though, cheering, clapping and popping Advil like concession stand M&Ms.
I have heard the moms of grown kids say this was the best time of their lives. I believe it. Our kids aren’t babies and they aren’t adults. This is the sweet spot, where the last remaining years of having them in our home, lie. It’s been one of my favorite times of being a parent despite the teenage drama and know it all attitudes.
I know my days of sitting with my sportsball mom friend while we watch our kids play side by side are fleeting. Our kids will grow, they will change teams, get cut from teams, change sports or even change interests altogether. I hope their friendships will extend beyond the sport that brought them together. The two of them are a good pair. Maybe this stage of their friendship is just the first set in a long three set match.
I also hope my friendship extends beyond carpool and sleepovers. I try to imagine us 10 years from now with no one to drive to practice and all the time in the world to lunch or take a girls weekend. Thinking of us as those women, not as moms but just as women, seems foreign. Just as the days of PTA and playgroups passed us by, so will the days of driving kids around. I’ll have to think more about the future another time though, we need to leave for practice.
I ended 2019 with foot surgery. I had been dealing with pain in my foot for nearly a year and had initially chalked it up to being over 40. Literally, I had my 41st birthday and the pain started, just like a car breaking down the day after the warranty expired.
My first cast after surgery. I was still asleep when the color was chosen…clearly.
It turns out, I wasn’t old, just extra. I was literally born with an extra bone in my foot called an Accessory Navicular Bone. That accessory bone was banging around like a tennis shoe does inside a dryer. It was knocking against the bone next to it and rubbing against a tendon. Typically I love accessories but this one cost more to remove than buying a new Louis and it came with a custom scar to brand me like a monogram labels a custom bag.
Once I had the surgery, the healing process slowly began. I may have gone under the knife a 41 year old but I came home a solid 84 year old grandma. Falling became an everyday fear for me. My kids had to scrape me off the floor several time during the first few weeks. One time during the day when no one was home, I fell and had to call a friend to pick me up off the ground. I’m sure I looked like a sobbing toddler who needed a hug. The “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” commercial became relatable and very much not funny. Well to me it wasn’t funny, my family thought it was hilarious!
I had been in a cast for 4 weeks when it was finally removed. I was ready to be in a boot and regain my mobility. After a month, I was extremely ready to learn to walk again and put the knee scooter and crutches away. Not being able to walk independently made everything I did take four times as long and at least that much more frustrating.
So when the final cast came off and I saw my leg… or what was left of my leg, all of my spirits fell. Instead of seeing my leg that had always been strong, I saw a leg that had morphed into a pale white toothpick that had no prayer of supporting my weight. My weight that was considerably more after sitting around doing nothing for weeks at this point.
Chicken Leg!
After the cast came off and I came to terms with my chicken leg, I watched myself start to slowly heal. I started to appreciate how amazing the human body really is. When a body part, like my foot, goes through any trauma, the body begins sending extra blood to the trauma site to begin the healing process. For me, this meant that my leg and foot would turn bright “Barney the Dinosaur” purple and stay that color for weeks. The doctor told me my body was over reacting to the trauma. Clearly over reacting is a natural reaction for me and is as much a part of my DNA as my blue eyes and short legs are.
Barney the Dinosaur Purple Foot
As I write all of this I have started walking again in a boot and have begun some physical therapy. I’m in good company at PT with many of my fellow octogenarians working out next to me. Although with every visit to PT I feel like I get a little closer to my own age and very slowly back to my own weight. My chicken leg is still small but it is getting stronger. The Barney foot is still purple so I guess that means my body continues to over react. Shocking.
Now that I am in week 7 of recovery I am seeing some big improvements. I’m a few weeks away from returning to my normal activities and hopefully making my purple foot chicken leg just a memory.
Anyone who has participated in club sports knows the level of commitment it requires from the family. Not only is the cost a factor, but so is the time commitment for practices and tournaments. Most importantly, it takes an amazing amount of support from all of the parents to make a season happen. It really takes a strong team to support the team.
When club volleyball tryouts begin each summer it is incredibly stressful for the young athletes, and of course for the parents who love them and act as unpaid Uber drivers during the entire process. As the teams come together, many times the girls don’t know each other well and the parents have never met. You really don’t know what you are getting into. Are all of the girls good players? Do they have nice parents? Will there be drama? In many cases, a team full of teenage girls makes for a bumpy ride. Add in a few parents with egos and all the together time a season provides can be the perfect storm.
This year though, my daughter’s team was exceptional. While they are all talented players on a volleyball court, that is not the most “exceptional” part. These girls were the kind of teammates you pray for your child to have, and more importantly, the kind of friend group you are proud they are a part of. These girls spent a season cheering for each other on the best days and dried each other’s tears on the hard ones.
The apples didn’t fall far from the trees. This group of parents are just as wonderful as the girls are. When I replay videos of a tournament, I hear the voices of other parents cheering for my daughter as loudly as they cheer for their own. In our experience, this has been the exception and not the rule.
This season is coming to a close. It could be the last weekend these girls take the court together as a team. I’m sure all of them will move on next year to teams where they will continue to grow as volleyball players on the court. I’m more excited to see the young adults they become when they are off the court, taking with them the friendships they formed this year.
“That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet.” ~Emily Dickinson
Ava-Our team Instagram superstar on The Volleyball Project! Your big blocks always bring energy to the court. Sorry again I embarrassed you in the Uber, lol.
Campbell-When you get a kill and turn around, I know you are going to have a celebration as big as the point was! You are a fun player to watch!
Candler-The team optimist, cheerleader and captain. If someone is upset, you are the one to comfort them. Being able to play positions other than setter makes you an asset for the team.
Chloe- It’s so much fun watching the other team look scared when you warm up! Your big hits and strong serves gave the team countless points this season!
Genna- As much as you love volleyball, you love your teammates more. You should be proud of your hard work and growth this season! Keep up your happy energy!
Gia-Always with a smile on your face! You have a had to play through injury and still always gave 100%. You can play just about any position on the court which makes you a valuable part of the team.
Jayden-You bring the energy after a big point! The level of play goes up on the court when you get a big kill or block. A friend to everyone, you are the teammate everyone hopes to have.
Jill-Always smiling and happy! As a hitter you have a great vertical and more importantly are a friend to everyone on the team. Your positive attitude is an asset!
Kennedy-You have the best ability to see the holes on the court and to end the point! One of the funniest girls on the team, you keep everyone’s spirits up off the court and are one of the MVP’s on the court.
Maddie-You are such a gifted athlete! You can hit, pass, set and serve and do it all well! You hold yourself to a high standard and always play with intensity.
Serenity-You have an on and off switch. I have watched you go from a Snuggie to the amazing team Libero in an instant! You are a leader, everyone’s friend and a talented athlete.
Erin Has Something To Say 