I am the mom to three very wonderful but very different children. Anyone who was raised with siblings or has multiple children, know firsthand how different kids born to the same parents can be. My oldest son tested into the gifted program in first grade. My daughter has been on the honor roll every grading period her entire life. But my youngest son, Will, was always a little behind in school. With a May birthday, we chalked it up to him being young for his grade. He ended each year “on grade level” with the help of some wonderful teachers so we didn’t worry… until fourth grade.
I’m going to back up a little bit. In fourth grade, he was assigned to a brand new teacher in her first year who was partnered with a teacher who had left the corporate world a few years before to teach as a second career. This was the exact opposite of the experienced teachers I had requested in the school’s student questionnaire the year before. (This questionnaire was supposed to help parents let the school know what kind of teacher and learning environment their child needs so the principal could attempt to find the right match.)
Soon after fourth grade began, Will had a terrible football accident and broke his leg badly. He missed a week of school and then was confined to a wheelchair for 4 weeks and a boot for 4 more weeks. Will is an athlete. He lives for football season and being unable to move was the worst mental and physical punishment that could have been handed to him. I was hoping his teachers would support him but when I pushed him into class each morning they seemed annoyed. They didn’t greet us with a good morning or ask Will how he was feeling. It made me sad and I left the school in tears several times.
His classmates were wonderful. One sweet girl grabbed his computer each morning when I pushed him in the room. Another boy started stopping by our house in the morning to push Will to school, giving him a bit of his independence back. The school, at the time, did not have a wheelchair ramp for Will to be pushed up which was another struggle. (We live across the street from our school so most kids in our neighborhood walk to school each morning.) But he started asking each morning to stay home. I would get calls mid day asking me to come pick him up. He hated school for the first time ever. Most mornings included tears as he was wheeled out the door.
As if things were not already tough for Will, he was officially diagnosed with Dyslexia right after he broke his leg. He began being pulled from class to work with his dyslexia specialist who became the one bright spot in his day. She began the work to help Will “learn how to learn” with his disability and she was very successful! She later told me he would ask to stay in her room as long as he could. This was his safe spot and I will forever be thankful to her for providing that for him.
Around Halloween, Will’s friend, the sweet boy who was pushing him to school each day starting being bullied. Will did his best to stand up for his buddy from his wheelchair only to find that the 3 bullies in his class would then turn their attention to him. The friend was physically pushed to the ground, the bullies called both boys gay and made lunch and recess miserable. That is when the assistant principal became involved.
The AP was in over her head. She tried moving the ringleader to another classroom. That didn’t stop it. She tried to separate all of the kids at lunch and recess, that didn’t stop it. Her incompetence was apparent. I wished everyday that this had happened the year before in third grade when Will had strong teachers that would have shut it down before it even begun. During Will’s third grade year we also had the best AP our school ever had. If the teachers had needed back up, she certainly would have put a stop to it. But instead, Will went to school every day that year with the only terrible teachers at our school with a very inexperienced and incompetent AP.
We tried to encourage him at home and found Will a wonderful tutor outside of school who was excited to work with him. By Christmas, she had 18 kids from that classroom rotation working with her as well. In a face to face meeting I let the AP know how many kids were struggling and seeking help outside the classroom. Nothing was addressed.
The bulling continued, Will fractured his back in the spring as a result of growing while his leg was casted which put too much stress on his back. He once again was sidelined from activity. Will suffered, his friend suffered and the entire class suffered in their toxic learning environment. Still nothing was done.
Fast forward a year to today. Will had a great 5th grade year. He stayed healthy, had great teachers and continued to work with his fabulous dyslexia specialist and his wonderful private tutor all year. As the end of the COVID school year ended, our principal announced he would be leaving for another district. I immediately wanted to have a brief conversation by phone or in person with our District Superintendent. I wanted to tell him what happened to Will and to hopefully chose a new leader who not only focused on the high achievers but also the kids who need advocated for the most. I received nothing back from him although he had his secretary call me. I emailed our school board and heard nothing back from them at all. I finally FB messaged one of the school board members and did receive a phone call back from him.
Last week, the AP who was in over her head in that role was named the school’s new principal. It was a strong message that what parents thought didn’t matter. I posted my concerns about the new principal on Facebook and have received dozens of messages from concerned parents and staff members who cannot speak out. I even heard from substitute staff who were also concerned. Many of these messages contained stories similar to Will’s. Others were curious about how she was selected and still others said she had always given them bad vibes… one said her “Spidy Sense” always went off around her.
99% of everyone I heard from sent me a private message and did not respond to my post publicly. They are afraid of retaliation. That is a legitimate concern. I spoke out at a town council meeting one summer against placing portables in our school during construction. A month later my daughter was placed in the class that was slated to be placed in the portable and my son was placed in the class of the only teacher in the school on probation that year. Luckily, the portables were not used and my daughter had a great year with one of her favorite teachers ever. My son was moved to the class of a very experienced teacher who had taught my older son and daughter. But only because, I spoke out.
These are some of the issues I was trying to tell our superintendent. He needed to know about the current culture. He should know what changes were needed. Parents need to feel safe to speak up, unsuccessful teachers need to be removed from the classroom, parents and staff should be educated about what services the district provides for students with disabilities, place struggling students with experienced teachers and provide a healthy learning environment for all students.
Luckily for me my family is graduating from this school. We spent 9 years there and part of me loves the school for all of the good it does. As scathing as this blog is, 99% of the teachers and staff are the best there are. It’s sad to me that the 1% that isn’t, is the 1% in charge of the other 99%.
I am speaking out right now in hopes it is not too late to make a positive change so that other kids like Will don’t suffer like he did. If I can make that road smoother, or easier for other kids and their families, shame on me for staying quiet.
Erin Has Something To Say 